From Lagos to London: Tips from our journey
Advice for Nigerian couples looking to start a new life in a new country
Dear Nurturer,
Disclaimer - if you are not parent/aspiring parent living or planning to live abroad, this might not interest you as such but I’ll encourage you to skim through first. If it doesn’t apply to, please forward this mail to anyone you know who would benefit.
Since the fine print is out of the way, please come closer for the inside gist..
Hiyya! Myself and my hubby, Yusuf and Nimat here, sending you a massive congratulations from across the pond (well, the Atlantic in this case!). Starting a new life together in the UK is an amazing adventure, but let's be real, it's not all fish and chips. We remember the excitement when we first landed in London. Looking back now, that was the beginning of a rollercoaster adventure with many unexpected bumps along the way.
Missing the Familiar:
The hardest part for us at first was being away from our families back in Nigeria. Loneliness is such a big thing here. Yusuf was here first, all by himself for over a year before I joined after we got married. I honestly wonder how he survived without easy access to his mama put joints for his favourite Abula. Video calls were indeed lifesavers, but there's nothing replacing being able to attend Owambes or visit family at will. Thankfully, we found a good community of Nigerians in Leicester where we settled and attending their gatherings always gave us the nostalgic feeling of home. They also supported us at crucial times when we needed help during pregnancy and eventual child birth.
Money Matters:
Speaking of navigating, figuring out the new job market and cost of living was a whole different story. Thankfully, Yusuf had settled in nicely into his job as a doctor before I came but I didn’t initially have my license to practice as a doctor sorted. Sadly, the UK is no ‘respecter' of people without an income because whether you like it or not, bills will come for you…lol. So I had to start looking out for jobs I could do pending my UK registration. I remember once considering Amazon warehouse roles, thank God for good advice. That’s no job for a lady! I ended working at the height of the pandemic as an NHS Helpline respondent and this provided the flexibility of working from home.
Let's just say budgeting became our new best friend after some hard knocks with our finances. Likewise, deciphering all those tax codes? Don't even get us started!
Building a Family Abroad:
We always knew we wanted kids, but starting a family in a new country adds another layer of complexity. Understanding the NHS (National Health Service) and childcare options was a whole new adventure. But hey, we figured it out together, and now our little one, Rayan, is a beautiful blend of Nigerian and British culture – cherishing his Amala and Ewedu at home whilst also clearing off his jacket potato, cheese and beans at Nursery. I also can’t get over how he seems to be unafraid of dogs, an animal we were taught to beware of in Nigeria.
The Rewards Outweigh the Challenges:
Now, don't get discouraged! All those challenges were just hurdles to overcome. Building a life together in the UK has been incredibly rewarding despite the challenges. It’s not all rosy but I guess everything in life has its pros and cons. We've learned so much, grown closer as a couple, and are creating wonderful memories for ourselves and our growing family.
Remember:
Stay connected to your Nigerian heritage – it's what makes you, you! Find the Nigerian community or cluster near you and attend events or social gatherings with the kids – keep that Naija spirit alive and let your kids always remain proud of the heritage.
Don't be afraid to ask for help – there are resources available on Facebook and WhatsApp groups, and the Nigerian community in the UK is fantastic.
Embrace the adventure – the challenges are temporary, but the memories you create will last a lifetime. Imagine exploring rainy castles and sunny beaches with your little one!
So, if you’re planning to take the plunge into the unknown like we did almost 5 years now, be rest assured we would be here to support you.
There’s lots to learn from our bi-weekly podcast episodes about our journey thus far - listen here
We’re also having our maiden free webinar for new parents in the diaspora titled - Becoming Parents 101 - essential hands on skills for parents in the diaspora. Sign up before the slots run out or share with someone. www.bit.ly/Becomingparents
Love Always,
Nimat